Posts Tagged ‘War on Terror’

The Lazer Dragon Party Kollective has formed a special commission on Lager Consumption and Experiential Freedom ( LCEF) in response to the documents recently released by Wikileaks.
Over the weekend, over 400,000 pages of classified material on American activity in Iraq were released by the rogue transparency watchdog.
Magnus, a member of Lazer Dragon Party Kollective Leadership, commented on the new commission-

“ We don’t want to make unwarranted claims, but these documents released by Wikileaks could potentially signal the devastation of our entire economy. You deserve to know why that is. Anonymous sources have led us to believe that the War on Terror could significantly impact alcohol prices in the United States. There. We said it.

As of today, we still don’t know why  and we don’t know how.

Obviously, if this fear were realized our government institutions would collapse completely, shortly followed by every college, and manufacturing facility in the country. Our own LDPK analysts have pointed out that all the former students, politicos and unemployed government bureaucrats who made it through class and work ( respectively) by being drunk, would not even have the option of turning to manual labor. Who would do a hard day’s work without the sweet promise of a cold and affordable lager at day’s end? Think about it. We’re talking about a Mad Max-style reality.

If this scenario were carried out, it could go so far as to impact our Halloween party this Friday. It’s safe to assume our government doesn’t want such an atrocity on their conscience.This is a true threat to national security, and our new LCEF Commission will be going through every page of the Wikileaks papers to make sure our friends and neighbors are made aware of the danger.

We are in the process of training two commission members – Three Billz and Discocowboi – to use the highly-technical  ‘Command-F’ search function to scour every one of the pages for the phrase “ Booze Is Getting More Expensive.” Hopefully they won’t turn anything up.”

As this commission completes their task, the LDPK will be bringing the notable results into the public eye. Stay Tuned.

Fear is a terrible master. Americans know this well.
Look wherever you want , on television, in the newspaper or the local bookstore. Someone or something is standing there like Simon Legree to remind you that you can’t get away from all the things you are supposed to be afraid of: Terror, Religious Extremism, Sickness, Loneliness, Poverty.
Different names reside on this list from time to time, but no matter how much we scurry around to avoid it, the list never diminishes.

Yet somehow we are encouraged to live “In freedom from fear.”

It’s a statement everyone has heard at some point, and usually right after someone in power has told us why we can’t and shouldn’t actually be free of it. Still, this “freedom from fear” is held out to us as a future reward. A reward we will get when we trust the government enough, love America enough, and sacrifice enough. Sadly though, this is a game that is a sure loss for everyone who plays.

Consider our War on Terror. An American who does not find himself regularly paralyzed by shadows and rumors might easily be persuaded that he is himself in danger of trampling under our nation’s hallowed traditions – and equally bad – the well-being of “our boys.” This mix of civic religion and militaristic nationalism is more than most of us can pass up or shrug off. It just feels too damn good to be on the moral high ground that a condescending oligarchy shoveled underneath you. “Don’t you care about protecting America from __________?” Fill in the blank and feel good about yourself. You care about your friends and neighbors. Together we can be united under fear, and live handing over our liberty and good sense to government we hope will protect us. (more…)