Posts Tagged ‘Iraq War’

The Lazer Dragon Party Kollective has formed a special commission on Lager Consumption and Experiential Freedom ( LCEF) in response to the documents recently released by Wikileaks.
Over the weekend, over 400,000 pages of classified material on American activity in Iraq were released by the rogue transparency watchdog.
Magnus, a member of Lazer Dragon Party Kollective Leadership, commented on the new commission-

“ We don’t want to make unwarranted claims, but these documents released by Wikileaks could potentially signal the devastation of our entire economy. You deserve to know why that is. Anonymous sources have led us to believe that the War on Terror could significantly impact alcohol prices in the United States. There. We said it.

As of today, we still don’t know why  and we don’t know how.

Obviously, if this fear were realized our government institutions would collapse completely, shortly followed by every college, and manufacturing facility in the country. Our own LDPK analysts have pointed out that all the former students, politicos and unemployed government bureaucrats who made it through class and work ( respectively) by being drunk, would not even have the option of turning to manual labor. Who would do a hard day’s work without the sweet promise of a cold and affordable lager at day’s end? Think about it. We’re talking about a Mad Max-style reality.

If this scenario were carried out, it could go so far as to impact our Halloween party this Friday. It’s safe to assume our government doesn’t want such an atrocity on their conscience.This is a true threat to national security, and our new LCEF Commission will be going through every page of the Wikileaks papers to make sure our friends and neighbors are made aware of the danger.

We are in the process of training two commission members – Three Billz and Discocowboi – to use the highly-technical  ‘Command-F’ search function to scour every one of the pages for the phrase “ Booze Is Getting More Expensive.” Hopefully they won’t turn anything up.”

As this commission completes their task, the LDPK will be bringing the notable results into the public eye. Stay Tuned.

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We love karate, we love Colonel Sanders, and we love people who don’t take farcical political debates seriously.

Someone else who apparently loves all these things is Jimmy McMillan, the gubernatorial candidate put forward by the Rent is 2 Damn High Party. A karate expert, Vietnam veteran and mustache pioneer, Jimmy got pissed off at the rent being too damn high, and decided to run for Governor of New York.

First off, a big thank you to Jimmy for naming the party something that makes sense. If you decide to waste some time on election day, you should be able to get the major belief of the candidate just by reading the name of their political affiliation. If a candidate thinks ” Government is 2 Damn Small,” then put that on the ballot instead of “Democrat.”

Here is a video of Jimmy dropping some wisdom bombs in a television debate –

Jimmy is on a mission to make sure rent is lowered and the poor are fed. The LDPK can get down with that.

This is about the point where people start whining about the pillars of society crumbling under the weight of undeserving poor wallowing in government redistribution. Snooze.

Your tax obligation won’t go down by sitting around resenting that some people whose lives suck get a government check to -ostensibly – put food on the table.  Ironically, the crowd who most worries about  “government redistribution” also eagerly supports the open bankrupting of the nation through war. A poor person in New York isn’t hurting you. The government putting you in debt to China to fund a war on “terror” is.

It’s a stretch to suggest that Jimmy might get the coveted LDPK endorsement for his run. We would have to see an extensive demonstration of his karate skills before that kind of decision could be made. We would however, eagerly welcome Jimmy at our upcoming Halloween Party.

We’ll say it with you, Jimmy. ” The Rent is 2 Damn High!”