Posts Tagged ‘Beers o’ Shame’

discocowboi: I hate myself for loving you.

Compelled by destiny and tormented by fate, LPDK party leadership continued upon their epic quest to conquer their list of ultra-cheap, highly criticized brews.  Fighting through the scorn (and the taste) party leaders bravely battled through a twelve pack of Busch Ice, and emerged victorious over yet another bottom-of-the-barrel brew.

At the end of the experience, party members sat exhausted and impressed by the sheer scale of their accomplishment.  “An accomplishment worthy of song throughout the ages,” in the words of LPDK’s own Magnus of Longshanks.

In other words, it was a normal Wednesday night at party headquarters.

Initial reviews of Busch Ice, taken from sips of the beer while not yet cold (in order to see what it’s like “without any makeup,” according to Magnus) were mixed:

Magnus: “This stuff takes like metal.”

cauldronofhate: “When I bring it to my mouth to take a sip, I catch a whiff of a B.O.-type smell.”

discocowboi: “I like it…. what?”

Though 2 of 3 of the party members present had no taste for the beer, LDPK leadership are not ones to back away from a challenge.  Thus, the group headed to the porch to finish the unpleasant task at hand.  Buoyed by camaraderie, and steeled by the sweet taste of Black & Mild wood tip wine-flavored cigars, party leadership slew the beast at hand in a few hours of “erudite”* conversation doused with puerile giggling.

“Yeah we’re never doing that again,” insisted cauldron.  “That stuff was terrible… no more ice beers for a while,” responded Magnus.  Apparently oblivious to the conversation, discocowboi kept asking for popcorn and mumbling that he was “not having a good time.”  But at the end of the day, Busch Ice became yet another cheap beer notched into LDPK’s collective bedpost.  Wholly unremarkable save for the slight stench of body odor, Busch Ice has nonetheless been vanquished and reviewed for the benefit of LDPK’s readership.  On to Beer #3…

*”erudite” is LDPK parlance for “excessive Lord of the Rings references.”  To demonstrate, Busch Ice apparently makes Magnus feel as if he is King Theoden of Rohan: “If this $6.75 ice lager is to be the end of us, then I would have it be such an end as to be worthy of remembrance in song!”  And then later, as a roach scurries across the porch and Magnus tries to enlist other party members in the futile attempt to kill it: “DEATH!  DEATH! RIDE TO RUIN, AND THE WORLD’S ENDING!”

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