Archive for the ‘Wisdom Bombs’ Category

LPDK Election Night Coverage: Voter Reaction

Posted: November 2, 2010 by discocowboi in Wisdom Bombs

As we all know, tonight is a night near and dear to many Americans: back-to-back-to-back-to-back episodes of Sanford & Son on TV Land from 6 to 8 p.m.

For some of us, it is Election Night, when we gather around the TV and watch many nicely dressed persons fumble with telestraters in an attempt to circle obscure, “swing” counties.  But don’t worry about CNN: LDPK has your Election Night covered.

Earlier today, party leader discocowboi took to the streets with LDPK’s own imbedded reporter, cauldronofhate.  In lieu of having to work hard/maintaining any type of journalistic integrity, disco and cauldron honed in on the first person to make eye contact with them as they walked down the street.  This person, who identified himself only as a “republican/democrat generic voter easily placated by hollow platitudes,” let us in on how he was feeling:

“Yay/boo!  My candidate won/lost!  America is finally back on track/America is doomed.  We are returning to greatness in the world/Chinese paratroopers will be here shortly to kill us all and take our women.    We will finally get more jobs and my 401(k) will explode/Tomorrow I will be sitting on a trash heap looking for soda can tabs.”

When informed that he sounded like nothing more than someone who fell asleep listening to MSBNBC and then rolled over and accidentally bumped the remote to Fox News for the rest of the night, “voter” responded: “well, what I am supposed to do… think for myself?  Psssh.”

After the interview concluded, disco and cauldron felt like they had their finger on the pulse of this election.  With no need for further interviews, and with the first episode of Sanford & Son rapidly approaching, they returned to party headquarters to “watch the results come in.”*

So the casual reader may be wondering, “what is the official LDPK position on today’s festivities?”  Our message is simple: GET OFF THE SCRIPT.

 

discocowboi

 

 

*”watch the results come in” is LPDK parlance for eating wings and drinking light beer.

 

Fighting for Freedom?

Posted: October 12, 2010 by Lazer Dragon Party Kollective in Wisdom Bombs
Tags: , , , , , ,

Every life matters.

Americans need to consider the gruesome price tag for fighting wars abroad to “protect freedom.” Think about this graph the next time you are tempted to suggest that our national foreign policy is some kind of necessary evil. Only one part of that statement would be true.

The graph above was taken from the website ” All that is Interesting.” You can see the original post here.

Fear is a terrible master. Americans know this well.
Look wherever you want , on television, in the newspaper or the local bookstore. Someone or something is standing there like Simon Legree to remind you that you can’t get away from all the things you are supposed to be afraid of: Terror, Religious Extremism, Sickness, Loneliness, Poverty.
Different names reside on this list from time to time, but no matter how much we scurry around to avoid it, the list never diminishes.

Yet somehow we are encouraged to live “In freedom from fear.”

It’s a statement everyone has heard at some point, and usually right after someone in power has told us why we can’t and shouldn’t actually be free of it. Still, this “freedom from fear” is held out to us as a future reward. A reward we will get when we trust the government enough, love America enough, and sacrifice enough. Sadly though, this is a game that is a sure loss for everyone who plays.

Consider our War on Terror. An American who does not find himself regularly paralyzed by shadows and rumors might easily be persuaded that he is himself in danger of trampling under our nation’s hallowed traditions – and equally bad – the well-being of “our boys.” This mix of civic religion and militaristic nationalism is more than most of us can pass up or shrug off. It just feels too damn good to be on the moral high ground that a condescending oligarchy shoveled underneath you. “Don’t you care about protecting America from __________?” Fill in the blank and feel good about yourself. You care about your friends and neighbors. Together we can be united under fear, and live handing over our liberty and good sense to government we hope will protect us. (more…)